Saturday, March 3, 2012

Repost: Van Helsing

Hugh Jackman as Van Helsing

Due to the unreliability of Canada Post I’m stuck with no DVDs to watch this weekend. Not much good having a Zip account if the mail doesn’t arrive. So I’m stuck watching movies from my personal, and vary sparse collection. Last night I choose Van Helsing. I’ve now seen the film three times. I can honestly say that it doesn’t get any better with repeated viewing.

I saw Van Helsing in the theatres because it starred Hugh Jackman as the main character. I thought that while the film looked good it didn’t have much of a plot. The CGI annoyed me. That’s no big deal. CGI always annoys me. If I notice it, it’s annoying.

Other things that bugged me:

Richard Roxburgh’s accent. Of course no one knows what kind of accent Dracula had. None of the movies has ever gotten it right (Bela Lugosi was Hungarian) but for some strange reason I found this accent really annoying.

Kate Beckinsale’s lack of an accent (most of the time). At least she didn’t try to sound as overblown as Roxburgh. Wavering in and out is worse than no accent at all. Barely.

Beckinsale’s costume She spent the whole movie in a corset. She looked close to suffocating when she was horizontal. What 13-year-old male decided that all four of the main women in this film had to have their breasts front and center?

I’m not even going to go into the religious aspects of the film (Van Helsing is the Left Hand of God and can sense evil.) If you ignore the religion there isn’t much left of the plot.

If you liked Underworld and The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen you might like this film.

I think those two films were better than Van Helsing Oh well, at least Hunkaroo Hugh looked great. I enjoyed the blooper reel. I still can’t decide if Hugh is really a klutz or if he was just fooling around. 

Reposts are posts written for previous journals or other places online that no longer exist.

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