Saturday, September 24, 2011

Repost: Me & Einstein

“I’ve got a theory…” from Once More With Feeling (The Buffy Musical) 

Just when I thought I had the whole time/relativity/geekdom thing down I made a realization. Yes, it was painful.

I had no idea that a PADS puppy would push me into the luminous stratosphere. Now I am up there! In that Venn Diagram of people who have figured out something about time, Einstein and me are right next to each other….

Maybe not…

I have finally figured out what has been has been happening for the last two years of my life. Without warning, I have stopped living in Pacific Standard Time and started living in PADS Spastic Time.

::wheels out a big chalkboard and draws very complicated and perfect diagrams::

I live about 10 blocks from a mall. Not a long walk on most days. No time at all really. However, on a hot day, with a backpack full of groceries and a spastic dog (which I just managed to type as “god”** my Freudian slip is showing again) you might as well be walking the Great Wall of China.

There are times when I can take 15 minutes to walk half a block with a willful dog.

I love these puppies dearly but, just like deep space travel, PADS Spastic Time is taking a lot out of my bones. It is no coincidence that I get very sick right after each puppy I turn in. I guess my body sees it as its chance to collapse once I don’t have another life form depending on me for potty breaks. People wonder why I never had kids.

I guess I’m just feeling it today because Moneypenny has been spastic for the past two weeks. Part of that is her being sick (with Kennel Cough) but the rest of it is all the bad habits she has picked up from her previous owners.

I’ve pretty much made the decision that I am only going to take puppies who have been through the Early Puppy Education at PADS. That’s four months of training before they go out to a raiser at age 6 months.

I may just have to sleep on this new form of time for a while before I make any decisions.

**There is an old joke: What do you get when you cross an agnostic with an insomniac and a dyslexic? A person who lays awake all night wonders if there really is a dog.

Reposts are posts written for previous journals or other places online that no longer exist.

No comments:

Post a Comment