Unlike a lot of people, I haven't been watching Glee. High school with singing? ::shudder:: The other day I found a video on YouTube of a performance from the show. I'll admit I liked it. Still it didn't make me want to watch. Until last night. I was bored. I decided to watch a few episodes online. I was in for a surprise.
Most of you fans will recognize Noah "Puck" Puckerman who is played by Mark Salling. The first time he showed up on my monitor I had a very... um... intense reaction. I blamed it on wonky hormones. The guy is eighteen years younger than me. I usually go for older men (Patrick Stewart, David McCallum etc.) so my interest in Puck was an anomaly that I couldn't explain.
Until approximately 3 AM. I don't know what I was dreaming about but it triggered a memory. I woke up and suddenly understood my reaction to Puck. He looks a lot like the first boy I ever kissed. I'll call him Brian. I was in grade eight and he was in grade seven. Did I mention that I hate being the older woman?
And I didn't actually kiss him. He pushed up against the school wall and kissed me. Then he walked away. I was left standing there really confused. I had no idea why he would do such a thing. It wasn't for a bet or dare because there was no one else in the school yard and therefore no proof. I have no idea how I ended up in the schoolyard alone with Brian. I remember walking home in a daze.
Brian never tried to kiss me again. I don't remember him even talking to me again. Now that I look back on it, I can guess that he was waiting for me to make the next move. Unfortunately for him I was already screwed up sexually. By the time Brian and I met I had been sexually molested and survived an attempted rape. It would be many years before I willingly kissed anyone.
I've been thinking of Brian all day. I even Googled him. He got married and has a bunch of kids. I guess some other girl knew what to do when he pushed her up against the wall. Or else he got a better MO.
I hope this little trip down memory lane ends soon. I don't want to have raging hormones every time I watch an episode of Glee. It might be better if I avoided the show but, damn it, I'm hooked.
Read my other Glee related posts here